Alright Blue Bell. What are you trying to prove? For starters, I go off and get diabetes, and this leads to some of the greatest advancements in ice cream history. Yeah, yeah, I know you make sugar free. But when I have to get sugar free, and The Missus buys "Sugar and High Fructose with Sugar and Brown Sugar and Cane Sugar" on top, and she's over there havin a food "O" face, and then her blood sugar might shoot up to a whoppin 75, and I look at her ice cream and have to take a shot, I get pretty upset.
But. That's not what this is about.
This is about them (and everyone else) puttin stuff in our ice cream, that we USED to have WITH our ice cream. I heard a commercial today adverstising the new "Blackberry Cobbler" ice cream from Blue Bell. Sweet Moses. First it's birthday cake, and that was pretty cool, then cookie dough, and I started getting worried, and now we have cobbler flavored ice cream. So now, when my family gets together for the 4th, I get to hear, "Oh, we're sorry Travis, but we didn't make cobbler. We bought the ice cream that has cobbler in it!" Damn you Blue Bell. Damn you.
Cobbler, Cake, Cookies, Brownies, Cheesecake, Pie... You know what's gonna happen next, right? Ice Cream with the cone already in it! Oh the pity I will feel for our nation when this happens. It will be a tragedy! You'll walk into Braums and say, I want a strawberry cone... And a cup will be thrust at you... Or your child. Think of your child. "Mommy? Can I get an ice cream cone?" And you will go through the drive thru, and say, "My little fatty wants a cookie dough cone, can I have the large one please? It keeps her quiet on the ride home." And lo and behold, you get to the window, hand them your money, and they hand you......A CUP! "Oh, ma'am we don't have cones anymore, they are mixed right into the ice cream." What will your child do? Will future children never know the joys of a cone! Oh sweet waffle cone!!!
Wow. I got kinda worked up there, and I apologize. I am very passionate about ice cream. Well. I was. Before the whole diabetes thing. Lame. I guess I should be thankful that they are combining these things. Means I have less sugar to eat, and then they have to cut off less of my feet. That's a good thing, right?
Meanwhile, I'm gonna go check out the market for this cone flavored ice cream thing. Might be some money in it...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Blue Bell is ruining my life... (not really)
I'm a husband, father, son, brother, and friend. I teach English and Literature to the youth of today. I love Jesus and my mother, and I'll gladly introduce you to both. I love photography and writing. Duke basketball keeps me occupied for half the year, and hating Chapel Hill keeps me busy the other half. As you can tell from the title of my blog, I like stories. I'm a big guy with a big voice, trying desperately to be heard by someone before The Lord takes me home. Let's be best friends.