Friday, June 19, 2009

It's Friday, and that means... I have to work tomorrow.

I hate it. Working weekends is so lame. I just work on Saturdays, but I still can't stand it. That's the thing in sales though. Gotta be there when the customer is there. Stupid customers.

I think we should close down everything on Saturday and Sunday. Nothing open. Nothing. Not even the evil money changers over at Wal-Mart. Maybe just have the self checkouts open. And if you're too stupid to work one of those, you don't need it. Wait till Monday. Also, to cut down on shoplifting, put a couple of these things near the doors. Didn't work out real well for those guys in the movie, but maybe we can also cull the herd a bit.

Think about it. The Parks and Recreation Depts would clean up on the weekends. So much money would be coming in, they'd stop askin for donations. Of course, EVERYONE would be out at the lake, but, you wouldn't be able to buy beer, so that would cut down on accidents. Also, something else that would cut down on accidents would be that there would be no emergency personel available on the weekends. If you hurt yourself, you better know how to tie a tourniquet. Maybe just have cops out to uphold the law. But give them jet skis and machine guns, and give them $25 per idiot they shoot. I know that sounds bad, but if little Johnny Douchebag thinks its funny to scare all the fish out of where I'm fishin by zippin his Wave Runner by at 110, he should be shot. Or at least let me throw a rock at him. Something.

After the weekend is over, the body count should be broadcast over every aspect of media on Monday. I'd venture to say that in 2 or 3 weeks, the crime rate would drop, and heart attacks and strokes would be cut in half. Just being off for the weekend. That's why people do stupid things. They wake up on Saturday morning and think, "Geez, it'd be easier to just rob someone and not work today." Then they wind up chasing that feeling, and the next thing you know, they're sellin drugs to your 13 year old.

Don't shoot the messenger.

Anywho, lets try it. 2 weeks. See if it helps. I'm sure somebody somewhere can convince this president of ours that it's a good idea. It might even stimulate this economy. Give GM workers the weekend off and see if it don't motivate them when they come back to work on Monday.

Except for the ones that got shot at the lake...