Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Missus and I Had a Dream...

Just thought I'd give everyone an update on the whole job thing. Yeah... I quit. Turns out, I needed about $200 worth of clothes just to work there, and I ain't got it. Heck, I can't even put somethin on it. The Missus went out and bought me $100 worth of clothes the other day, and none of it fit. None of it. My legs are like 15 inches long. My torso makes up the rest of my 6 foot frame. (alright, 5'11") Anyway, we took all the clothes back yesterday so she could get her some things. This is were we had a life changing experience, and helped break down the segregation of a small department store in Tulsa.

Before I start, I want to give a shout out to the chick in Woodland Hills mall yesterday that had a magazine rolled up and tucked down in the ass of her pants. That's classy. "Umm, I'd like this hairstyle please?" "Why's the magazine smell so funny?" "Well, I didn't have any pockets big enough to hold it..."

Idiot.

Then we went to Ross. I'm sure you're familiar with the store, they have everything but the kitchen sink. I love going in there and looking at cooking stuff, because I've gotten some pretty cool stuff for cheap. (or if you live in Okay, "cheep.") Anyhow, we go in, look for some stuff, she gets some stuff, and I spent a lot of time just lookin around. It's what I do. As we get to the check out, we see this. (These are really low quality and blurry pictures that I apologize for, but they convey the point.)


That's right. You're looking at a white line, and a black/mexican line. I don't KNOW that this is what people were intending when they lined up to check out, but for sure, this is what happened. I almost laughed out loud right there. Which line did me and The Missus line up in? That's right, the black/mexican line. It's here that I would like to point some things out.

I am not a racist. At all. However, I am very stereotypical, and I think that most people would be lying if they said they weren't. I love all types and races and I believe that God put us all here together to just freakin get along for a while before we join Him in Heaven. I think its the least we can do, right?

I have a dream. A dream that one day, all different races will line up to pay for their purchases in a line with no segregation. A line that includes people of all colors and body types and clothing. A line where a black person can purchase mayonnaise, and a white person can buy....mayonnaise. Can we not all line up together!? Can we not turn this Ross into a culturally diverse and race appreciative store?!? Can we try?!? We did. The Missus and I stood tall in the face of prejudice, and we stood in the line with our fellow humans! We are changing the way things are done! We will not tolerate this any longer!

What happened after we got in the line? I'll tell you, my rainbow colored plethora of fans and followers. This happened.


That's right. Those are white people behind us. We did it! We have integrated the Ross at 71st and Memorial! This is the happiest day of my life! I know a good portion of the picture is my neck, but you have to look past the color of my neck meat and look at the color of the people in the right half of the picture! Oh! Glorious day! We do not wish to be looked upon as heroes, nor do we wish to be idolized in the African American culture. We are simply people. Brave and good people, who knew what this Ross needed. You are welcome, America. You're welcome.

That Asain guy that checked us out sure looked at us funny though. Or did he? Their eyes always look funny, so I can never tell.



(I am so totally kidding on that last crack. So totally kidding. It was just for laughs.)