Friday, October 30, 2009

Friday Guest Post #1... Secret Agent K!

Hey folks, remember when I talked about guest posting? Well, today is the day! I'm not much on introductions, so here goes. Today's guest blogger is Kate over at Secret Agent K. She has a great little slice of the internets over there, folks. Read this post, show her some bloggy comment lovin, (the clean kind, none of that "Oh, we love you, that's why we call you fat and ugly" stuff you throw my way) and then go check out her blog and maybe click that little follow button? Eh? Eh? Hint. Hint. Nudge nudge. Here are her questions that she answered, followed by her post!

If you could punch one famous person in the face, dead or alive, who would you punch? Why?
I know most people will say Paris Hilton or Kanye West or even ex-president Bush but ya know who I’d really like to punch in and about the face and head area?  Jon Gosslin.  Yep, I said it, I’d punch him so hard in the stupid ass face that he wouldn’t know what hit him.  He’s a douche, plain and simple, and he does really douchy things, I really don’t need any more reason than that to wanna punch him.  His face irks me too, why does he always look like he’s thinking, “man I’m one hot piece of man?”  Yea, I would punch him, 2x’s

You are stuck on a desert island with only a compass and your mother in law. Give me your most creative escape plan.

I would practice my dolphin clicks till I had them down just right, and then, I would find a dolphin and speak directly to said dolphin (in clicks of course) and I would tell him, I will give you this super awesome compass if you take me back to civilization. I think it would work nicely as I’m kind of a master linguist and dolphins are supposed to be like, helpers and what not.

Go find the closest person to you, or call someone. Ask them to rank you on a scale of 1 to 10, how funny you are. Give us the relation, and their answer.

I called the boyfriend and when I asked him, he hesitated and than was like, ehmm, so lemme answer for how I KNOW he really feels. *clears throat*  My future wife is the all time funniest person EVER! She makes the world a better place with her humor, why just the other day, God smiled down on her and totally gave her a big “thumbs up”  (I  made that last part up but it could happen ya know?)

What is the worst deal you ever made for sex?
Uhmm not to sound bitter but, yea, spending two years of my life with a low life, assface cause his sex was way better when we first started dating then, say five months in? Deal...Fail

You can have one song stuck in your head the rest of your life. What is it? 

God is gonna cut you down~ Johnny Cash. 
Johnny Cash?
Enough said

The Post!

People make stupid faces.  Okay well not ALL people but a good majority of the people I have come into contact with make some really dumb faces.  Case in point.  I happened upon my local Starbucks the other night before heading off to school to get my “learn” on.  Now Starbucks is like a total money whore so the fact that I was trying to use a $50 ( the only one I’ve seen in like six months cause I’m broke ass)  to buy my coffee didn’t strike me as being a “dumb” face moment but I was wrong, so very wrong.  So I hand the lady my fiddy *that’s 50 in gangsta*  and she does this face, like, her lips peel back and her eyes get all squinty and her shoulders get all hunched right? She even sucked her teeth which is such a nasty sound, like all wet and saliva-y. So in my mind I’m like holy JC on a tricycle did I just give this broad a seizure? 
She looks at me with the face and says “Ooh I can’t take this, you don’t have anything smaller?”
It takes me a minute to respond cause I’m all focused now on the fact that she made a dumb face and I’m like, wtf, why did she just make that face?   So in my mind I’m workin it out ya know, all John Dorian style and guess what? She CONTINUES to make the face, like until I answer her, her face is stuck in that position.  So I come back to reality after my JD moment and I’m all...
“You GOTTA be shittin me!” Yep, I’m a classy gal like that, forget pretending to be a lady, if and when (or as my lovely host Travis says, iffin)  I get the chance to swear loudly (in public) I will, it’s kinda my thing.
   This whole, ugly face thing that the Starbucks Broad, or SB as I called her to the boyfriend as I recounted the story later that eve (tryina sound all British and what have you, I think it’s workin) and I came to realize that people do make these dumb faces A LOT in just every day conversation.  Take for example, when you ask someone for the time and they either don’t wanna tell you or they don’t have a watch, they make that “My bad” face, ya know the one where they kinda stretched their face down and show you their teeth, and the shoulder shrug almost always follows suit with a slight head to the side added for good measure. 
Or better yet, the people that will ask you for a cigarette from across the street or room, they lift their eye brows and hold their fingers in like a V in front of their mouth (Tee hee that made me think of the whole dirty hand gesture that....never mind)  and pretend they are smoking. 
I mean what is so hard about actually VERBALIZING what you have to say?  Can’t you just like, say hey, no sorry I don’t have the time.  Or hey can I have a cigarette? (that whole can I borrow a cigarette makes me mad cause when has anyone ever repaid THAT loan hmm?) But I digress...
Making a face at me doesn’t make me wanna help you, and to be honest your dumb face doesn’t make feel like YOU feel my pain either. 
In fact, it kinda makes me wanna karate chop you about the face and neck area.  Better yet, I wanna kung fu you WHILE you make a dumb face just so I can truly enjoy it. So maybe a situation that just warrants a “Are you SHITTIN me???” has now escaladed into a “Kung FU spin kick!” And all because you, you Starbucks lady, couldn’t control you face.  You and your “I’m so sorry, see how sorry I am, my teeth are showing and I have my shoulders up” face. 

But hey, I did get a free mocha something latte uhm, whatever the hell it was I got so to Starbucks lady, thanks for the free loot...

I still hate yer face J


  1. That's a great story, and thanks a lot T, now I gotta go and check her out and probably follow ANOTHER blog!

  2. Great post. I went her blog. I hit the follow button! :P

  3. Yay here I am! But why do the comments have to be clean? I mean I like a dirty comment every now and then =) Thanks Travis this was pretty frikkin cool

  4. Since when do strippers start taking $50's?

    Damn inflation!

  5. Ed-

    50's, singles, rolls of quarters, take it how you get my friend, take it how you get it

  6. did I miss the fact that she's a stripper? Cause that picture of her with the mask that her sister took is and bothersome.

    Anyway, I like making stupid faces at strange times. Like, during sex. But, since most of the time the lights are off (and if that's not a shot to my ego...), they're lost.

    But, I figured that, after Rufus told Bethany that the dead like watching the living and that we make some amazingly stupid faces during sex, not only am I about to get my rocks off, but I'm also entertaining some dead, bored people.

  7. I think I'm guilty....of making the stupid face...A LOT...of course it's mostly at work which TOTALLY justifies it. Really, it does. I work with teenagers - enough said.

    LOVED THE GUEST POST! Gonna go check her out now cause I got nuthin' better to do on Friday night but sit by myself and play in blogland.

  8. Great guest post and great answers, too. Anyone who thinks Jon Gosselin is a douche is a-ight by me.

  9. I just noticed something I am missing from your blogroll. What the eff?

    Meh. I just wanted to complain about something, hehe


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