Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Lie To Someone Who Understands, Please.

I was watching that show, "Lie To Me" last night. Yeah, I know it doesn't come on Tuesday nights, or maybe it does, and now that I think of it, I should have totally been watching "V." Did anyone see that? Was it any good?

AnyV, I was watching last weeks episode of Lie To Me. I DVR'd it, because it looked pretty good.

It hurt my brain.

I thought I was following it pretty well. This guy is pretty salty at cards because he knows when they're bluffin, he's got an English buddy who's always in trouble, he's English as well, (I didn't know Tim Roth was a Brit, really) these other people like to pick on school kids, FBI, etc. Got it. It was all absorbed into my brain much the way food gets absorbed into my mouth. Quickly. And I don't know about you, but I just wanted to sing "Poker Face" through the whole thing. Damn you, Lady Gaga, and your maybe penis.

In other words, it was all good.

Then this show got twisted up worse than the apron strings of a Catholic mother who's 27 children are all home on a snow day.

I don't even really remember how it all went down, but I instantly got a headache. One second, I thought the guy was dead, but I knew they wouldn't kill the lead character, and PLUS we all know that Tim Roth wouldn't go out like no bitch, right? I mean, geez. It's Tim Roth. Anyroth, it got weird. Fast. My head still hurts as of 7:30 this morning. I'm gonna have to take an ibuprofen just to make it through the morning hours of class.

Lie To Me? Not for me, thanks.

Along the same lines, they could have made the whole show less than 30 seconds long. And really that just depends on how long it took the person to lie. Want to know how? Of course you do. Just get everyone of our mothers on the show. Wouldn't even need a commercial break.

"What happened?"
"Well, Me and Jimmy were..."
"Yeah. He's lying. Next?"

Cut to credits, show's over, let's watch some American Idol. (you know you love American Idol)

Am I wrong?

This brings me to my Would You Rather for the day.

Would you rather get shot


get stabbed?

You'll survive both, but your mother-in-law is the one that has to deliver the punishment. If you aren't married, just put yourself in any sitcom situation that involves MIL's. They're all really accurate. Things to consider: How much damage will each weapon do? Are you more afraid of knives or guns?  Would your MIL make it more or less painful?

There ya have it, folks.

Have a happy Hump Day! (that means GET YA SOME!)


  1. I'm not married, but I'm terrified of either situation if I end up in an "Everybody Loves Raymond type of scenario. That being said I'll take the gunshot. And go ahead and just kill me. If I have to endure any sort of pain that I imagine a gun or a knife can produce, I think I'll just go ahead and end it. Maybe that makes me a pussy, but I'll take it. Or just shoot me from the side into my gut. Maybe they'll give me free lypo....

  2. In this scenario I'm married?

    I'd take either shot or stabbed.

    Gotta be easier than this.

  3. Holy Shit Trav! Really? My MIL??? I wouldn't survive - Thats Real AND she'd probably be doing both anyway - THAT'S REAL!

    As for the lying TV should've just added some cornmeal, Italian dressing, thrown it the food processor and fried it up.....gag....

  4. Lie to me is awesome.

    V is awesome.

    So is the show V.

    My MIL is kind of crazy, but also kind of a wimp. Not sure she could even manage to break the skin with a knife. Although, I could see her pulling a trigger, but hitting me in the head while aiming at my leg. It really depends on where I will suffer said wound, what caliber the gun is, what size knife blade is used, etc.
    I'd probably go with the knife, cause I'm old school.

  5. Shot or stabbed...I would guess shot..quicker....but dang, don't really like the thought of either. Can I OD and then have my stomach pumped instead??

  6. Now you see, Lie To Me is probably one of my favorite shows on television! Tim Roth is amazing and its so interesting to watch. You just need to expand your ways of thinking sit back and enjoy.

  7. Never watched Lie to me. V on the other hand, back in the day, waaaay back when it was on the first time, I watched it then. Haven't caught the new one yet.

    Hmmm. To be shot or stabbed by my MIL. She's an evil vindictive bitch who would probably wait till I turned around to do either. OR I'd pick one and she'd get me with the other. I don't know, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't live through it since she hates my guts. But it's mutual. Probably stabbed if I had to choose.

    And if hubs gives out, which I will totally work toward getting him to do, I'll totally get some. Maybe. I'll wear a short skirt just for added bonus!

  8. I don't have a MIL, but I would rather be stabbed. I don't like having guns pointed at me, of any kind. Even the fake ones. I will concede to a paintball gun though, cause paintball effin rocks. Anywho, yes, stabbed by my non-exsistant MIL.

    I haven't seen Lie to Me or V, so I can't help you out there. I'm very behind on my TV watching. That's what happens when you live with your folks.

  9. Either one, makes no diff. The woman is a moron, not sure she could do either right. FOR REAL! Do the words, weird cat lady mean anything to you?

  10. Shot. The sound of the gunshot would drown out her high-pitched yipping voice.

  11. Shot - definately!

    Lie To Me is awesome - yes we get it in Australia too - we arn't just upside down!!

    Tim Roth rocks but I whenever he first appears on screen I get a flashback to Pulp Ficion with him and Amanda Plummer in the coffee shop!


The price for my stories is your conversation.