Friday, December 11, 2009

Just A Few Pictures, And A Contest.

I'll announce the contest first. I've started picking up some new people around this place, and they're probably all going to leave soon iffen I don't give something away.

Y'all comment real good though, and that's the basis of the contest.

I'm going to start taking what I consider to be the five funniest comments each week, placing them in a poll, and letting you guys vote on which ones you think are the funniest. The winner will get a fancy certificate I'm going to make up that will basically say you are the funniest person in exsistance, Dane Cook be damned.

If you win five certificates, I'm going to give you a more tangible award, probably not announced until that happens, and suited to your personal tastes. I guess that's my way of saying that I will spend money on you. Before you go getting all excited, remember, I got rent and a car payment. And before you go saying, "Well, that's not bad," remember that I also have to feed myself.

Yeah. Epic, right?

Anyfat, on to the pictures.

This guy was at a basketball game I went to on Tuesday. He pulled these things out of his POCKET, and started trying to sell them to some guy, and then started trying to tell him how to use them. Yeah, there's a technique, but geez. Tie your line to it and throw it in the water. You know? It's not as if it needs to come with a set of instructions. I can only assume that the guy made a sale, because the two rednecks shook hands and parted ways with smiles.

You might want to click that one to make it bigger. (TWSS)

Yeah. Who in THE SWEET BLUE FLYING FUCK asked for this production? I mean, forget TSO or the Mannheim Steamroller or the Nutcracker this holiday season. I'm going to see Legally Blond: The Musical.

Aren't you? Don't you want me to try to win you free tickets as well? I mean dang, I think I just found my first prize for the comment contest. Were the movies that good? Did I miss something in them that warranted a Broadway production? I mean, that could be legitimate, because for most of the first one, I had my hand in my pants. And honestly, I thought the whole first movie was actually a sequel to Clueless.

I didn't catch the second one.

These next few are of me arranging the deer in my brother's (The Groom) yard.

The first one kind of looks like I'm trying to stimulate the poor buck, and the second kind of looks like I'm joining in on the fun. But the end result was quite hilarious, and the only thing I didn't do was plug the things in and get a video of it. That's my bad. I dropped the ball on that one. As of right now, (11 PM) I haven't heard from my brother, which means he must not know I did it. Seeing as he never reads my blog, I may be in the clear.

And these are of the upcoming Christmas parade in my hometown of less than 500 people. You can bet your sweet ass I will be out there covering it, and will give you a full report plus pictures.

There you have it folks. Hope you enjoyed the pictorial, and for sure, if you have any suggestions on the comment contest, let me know!

I'll be back tomorrow with Conversation posts, one from Kid Funk, and one from The Missus, and also a picture of me meeting a blog buddy in real life for the first time!


  1. As long as they're legal...

    Oh, you meant the Reese Witherspoon drivel.

    I think the worst part about "Legally Blonde: The Musical" -- aside from the fact that they made it in the first place -- was that they (meaning MTV) actually had a reality show called "Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods."

    Sadly, and to quote you, That's real.


  2. I really sad you didn't get a video...I would love to have seen that all lit up!

    What a brother you are :O) Check out my holiday lighting post tomorrow. It may give you some ideas. In fact, I may have to add this idea to my display.

  3. Oh, NO you DIDN'T!!! you made the christmas deer fornicators! you's a baaaaaaaaaaaaad man Travis....a baaaaaaaaaaaaad man! But funny!

    Remind me not to put you in charge of my Christmas decor next year!


  4. What you need to really set your Christmas deer display apart is a sign that says

    "Practice Safe Mating This Holiday Season. This message brought to you by Planned Parenthood." And then the sign would need a picture of a doe standing on hind legs with a big preggo belly. You know as a warning.

  5. I love your ability to be so creative with animals.

    Can't wait to see the pics from the parade!

  6. would start a contest AFTER I made you laugh in the cafeteria. How am I gonna compete with THAT? You're just doing this to screw with ME, aren't you? Kind of a BRING IT?!?!?!

  7. Ha Ha Ha how funny...but you better watch out. A few years ago my hubby was working as a 911 dispatcher and a resident wanted the police to set up a stack out with snipers in the trees to catch the little shits who were rearranging his deer. It was all the hubby could do not to laugh at him.

  8. Couple things:

    First: Who ever said Dane Cook was funny?!?! Seriously?!?!

    Second: I won't be entering your comment contest, in order to give everyone else a chance to win, because I'm kindhearted like that.

    3rd: The reindeer prank was GENIUS.

    IV: The Hawk vision thing made me LOL. Congrats.

    E: I totally fucked up these billets and don't even care.

  9. so...are you saying we're gonna win dane cook?! mmmmmmmkay...and i mean that in the horniest possible way. put the emphasis on the MMMMMMMMMM. there. that's better.

    hey...don't judge me. you were out humping white plastic deer in someone's back yard.

  10. You have a parade in a town with less than 500 people?

    What happens..when the front of the parade finishes, do they immediately sit down so the rest of the town can walk by?

  11. Speaking of lawn decor... did you hear about the "naked Santa"?

  12. What Joshua says is true...Mac watched that MTV reality show and it was painful even being in the same room with it on.
    Guess I won't be winning any funny comment awards because mine are always lame, but I do want you to know I was here so I always say "something".

  13. My neighbor has a few of those light up reindeer on his lawn. If he wasn't such a stealth ninja from a world war, I'd go over there and arrange them in a 'where's my dinner, bitch!' pose.

  14. *sigh* I've seen the Legally Blonde my defense, though, it was with a gay friend of mine and it was only so we could get tickets to see Mama Mia later in the season...wait. That probably isn't the best "defense", is it? I'm lame.

  15. Seriously you live in a town called Okay? Maybe that's why less than 500 people live there.....

  16. Love the reindeer. So would my kids, even though they don't know squat about fornication yet.

  17. I should so go do that to my neighbor's deer... Too bad we have snow now, footprints would get me busted.

  18. Joshua: I'm deducting 2 man points from you for knowing that.

    Daffy: You know I'll be there.

    HL: Hey. I'm cheap.

    Kimi: I'm totally going to do that before the year is over.

    Carol: Neither can I, babe. Neither can I.

    RGirl: I have faith that you can make it happen again!

    Ed: Maybe so, but I really think that they're somehow still in order.

    Shannon: This sounds alarmingly familiar to a call I made to 911 a while back. He said it was a private conversation!!!

    Noelle: Ahem.


    Sis: I have now. Thanks.

    Tori: I lost a little respect for Mac just then.

    Sal: One of you must be the better ninja.

    Kate: I stopped reading your comment after you said you'd seen it. I'm disappointed.

    Cassie: Yep.

    Erin: Is it because you're Jewish? Oh. Wait. That's Santa...

    Mom: See about comment about being a ninja.

  19. He's Sam Fishered his way by me many times.

    He may have the olds, but he is clearly the better ninja.

  20. The only reason to go see the musical is for the song "Is he gay or European?" The two old blue hairs who have season tickets in front of us didn't think it was funny but my mom and I were laughing to hard tears were in our eyes. We then went across the street to Macy's and played a little game of "Gay or European"

    We decided most of them were gay. The Europeans don't shop at Macy's.

  21. Hope those deers had protection..thats quite a three way pic. LOL.

    Love the gangsta' pic of you on the sidebar too.

  22. Gawd, nothing says trailer trash like reindeer fuckin' in the front yard! :D

  23. I thought the deer were supposed to be screwing??

  24. Wow, Travis, lately when you announce what you're going to post the next day, it is like you are actually organized.

    I wish I could be more like you, organized material, photo-shopped pictures, commercials for other blogs, how can you possibly lose your followers?

  25. I totally going to put my deer doing that under Daffy's Santa on my roof pissing on them. It's gonna be Great!


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