Saturday, January 2, 2010

Day One.

Yesterday's post was kind of crazy, eh?

I think I was still a little boozed up.

Anyway, yesterday was day one of The Diet.

I had 655 calories. I didn't exercise because I was hung over and drunk.

To be honest, it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. I wasn't hungry much, and I didn't have any kind of pain or headaches. I really think that will come later though.

I've done some research and I found out that if you eat 500 or less calories a day, you'll lose 21 pounds a week. That's kind of encouraging for me.

Thank y'all for all the support and encouragment and mothering that you've done. I just want to tell you that I am being VERY careful, and I swear, if I feel light headed or faint of just generally hungry, I'll high tail it a Chinese buffet.

I hope your new year started out better than mine, which started at work, and listening to my co-worker saying at least 10 times, "I could have made Paranormal Activity on my laptop."

Can one of y'all just send me about $600 a month so I don't have to work 2 jobs? That'd be cool.

Thanks. See you back tomorrow for day 2!


  1. I came over from "Bacon is My Lover" ... had to see what's up with the drunk blogging.
    Anyway... 500 calories a day? Holy crap! I'd die.

  2. 500 calories a day?? I will pray for you,, um would those calories involve coffee?? without it I would be hurting individuals

  3. Good luck with your diet.

    How many visitors are you allowed in the ER after passing out from living on 500 calories a day?

    I think a good enema would allow more weight loss than starvation.

  4. I think 500 calories a day (even the 600 some-odd you had) wouldn't be enough for me/most people. Please be careful. Remember---slow & steady wins the race! I know I'm more likely to binge/pig out if I'm starving or when I've deprived myself too much...


  5. how did you decide on 500 calories a day? that seems ridiculously low. as my previous commentors seem to agree. 21 lbs a week would be great, but would not do you any good 6 feet under.
    be careful, cause we know you can't be goo.

  6. New reader, here,
    I'm from Ada.
    But I have been gone for 40 years.
    I just read your post about Sesame Street.
    Actually The Street is waaaay funny. I remember watching a "Game show" that some furry puppet was putting on, and the winner would win a trip to Milpitas, California!

  7. Wow! I can't believe I hit your blog so soon as to be in the top ten comments today! Hang in there.

  8. I still think you gotta be careful!! Good luck though!

    And I think that Coffeypot is on to something with the enema. A colon cleansing may be just what you need to jump start your weight loss. Cause really you know what they say about being full of shit.....

  9. 500 calories!!! - I think I just ate my quota during my big "hangover special" breakfast. Oops :o(
    (Sorry to torture you Trav, evil really, very sorry.)

  10. Travis - I used to work for a VERY upscale diet clinic (actually edited a book for the owner first). She charged people $100 A POUND for her program, but it was very effective - people would lose about a pound a day. However, it was also a complete rip-off because it was the EASIEST DIET EVER.

    All you have to do is eat like this:

    Breakfast - 2 oz. protein (2 eggs can count), slice of bread, 1 tsp real butter

    Snack - piece of fruit

    Lunch - 3 oz. protein, 1-1/2 c. veggies

    Snack - piece of fruit

    Dinner - 4 or 5 oz. protein, 1-1/2 c. veggies

    Drink lots and lots of water, at least 60 oz. per day

    The trick is to go into mild ketosis (like on the Atkins diet, but much less severe). This is actually a very healthy diet and I've seen people be able to come off their diabetes meds, etc. using it.

    If you want more info, you can e-mail me about it ... but you'll have to go to my blog to get my address. Bwahahahaha. :)

  11. Sugar, I can so totally relate to the way you feel today. When my ex and I decided to quit tobacco we smoked and drank our brains out the day/night before the designated date, and it was thirteen and a half years before I had another cigarette….of course that was a man’s fault. ;-) Just a mind-fart—and I realize this borders on the radical—but I always found quitting the booze for a few weeks tremendously helpful in giving Diet a good kick-start. Don’t get carried away, though. Wouldn’t want you to lose your compass or anything.
    Is that 1/10 cent per visit or per word? (snort!)

    --aunt dorothy

  12. Different strokes for different folks. Weight watchers was my saving grace. It was the only diet that let me eat M&M's for lunch if I wanted them. Congrats on getting through day 1!

  13. Even people who have had bariatric surgeries or are in the hospital on weight loss programs get to have 800-900 calories a day Travis. You could try the every-other-day-diet. The concept is to eat normally for a day, then eat only 300-400 a day, and alternate it. You only go one day knowing you can eat again tomorrow. I've heard it has very good results. Anything is better than trying to eat 500 cals a day every day. Yikes. Self-punish much?

  14. See! LOTS of water! I TOLD YOU SO!

    Coffey's got a point... you could probably lose 20 pounds in a week with a good colon cleanse...

  15. I'm with anyone else, you be careful with this diet plan of yours....listen to your body....even if you don't like what it's saying. Just don't listen to it if it tells you to eat an entire 15" body told me that once...baaaaaad idea! tasted good though...but baaaaaad idea.

    I can tell you're lovin that vid/clerk job! I quit mine after a month....but I have faith in you, I think you can do it!


  16. 500 calories a day??? HOLY CRAP! Be careful man!!

  17. 500 calories???? Are you trying to drive yourself mad??

    Well, best of luck on your quest but could you please add a 1 in front of the 5-betcha it still works and you'll be able to keep on it longer (and healthier!)

    Just sayin (-:

  18. 500 calories!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Moly!!! You'll die!! I just did my second day of 1,000 calories and I thought I was going to pass out. If you are into vegetables, buy the frozen microwave steamables. Eat the entire bag. They're only 120 calories and they will fill you up!!! I also drink two glasses of water before every meal. Fills you up faster; plus water is good for ya!

    Good luck!

  19. ahem. i'm gonna ask you again...have you talked to your doctor about your radical diet?

    and why does everyone keep pushing a colon cleanse...? do you have some kind of preference that i don't know about? is the missus ok with that...?

  20. Hang in there Bro.

    Keep doing your thing.

  21. The 500 calorie per day thing is kinda scaring me, Travis...I think the average human only needs 2,000 per day, and you can probably get by on--and lose some weight--with 1,500 per day and exercise (walk 30 mins per day, etc). I'm not going to push the colon cleanse because I know how men feel about things going up their butts, but I will push drinking plenty of water. You will be amazed at how much better you'll feel. Trust me.

  22. WOW 500 cals per day!

    and they call Low Carbing radical dieting lol

  23. Do like I do about once a year (and I don't even NEED TO lose the weight!)....

    Get sick as hell (say Flu or Pneumonia), puke your head off for about 4 days. Barely eat a freaking thing (thanks to puking til your head spins and pops off).

    Within not even a week, you can EASILY lose oh...about 16 pounds.

  24. I wish you the best. If you stay at it, you'll be healthier and feel better.

  25. holy dribble travis, that is like nothing. A bowl of cereal is like your daily intake. But I have crunched the numbers for you, IF ALL of your followers sent you $0.12 for each of you posts each week you will have your $600 a month.

  26. shakes shakes shakes man
    its the way to go
    and put in some nutruients that you wont be getting from prawpaw food

  27. dude you are gonna have to eat more than that... you know that right?

    eat a cucumber

  28. Travis I have left you not 1 but 2 flashes of blog love onmy page hun you need to pick them up..

  29. Geez, Travis 500 calories isn't enough dude. A normal person can have up to 1600 calories a day and still lose weight. You need the vitamins and fibre that comes with more food.

    Check out . You type in the food that you eat and what exercise (if any) you do and comes up with how many calories you need to have to STAY ALIVE and still lose weight.

    Otherwise eat loads of green food, lean meat and cut out white stuff and soda.

    Good luck, don't pass out.

  30. Not to get preachy with you but if you keep with the 500 calories a day, you are going to slow your metabolism down and actually make it harder for yourself to lose weight. Then if you do up your calories you will gain back quickly. (Been there. Done that. Bought the stretchy pants.)

    Have you tried I keep hearing about it. I think it's free, too.

  31. are you's february, write some more please


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