Friday, January 8, 2010

I'm Kind Of In A Sitcheeashon Hur.

Ego: Travis.
Me: Yeah?
Ego: Dude, did you see that?
Me: What? Were there boobs? What?
Ego: Dude, we just got 50 comments on that shitty post. Did you say boobs?
Me: REALLY?!
Ego: Yeah we did. I'm the shit, did you know that? I mean, you shit yourself, mostly. But me, I'm the nipples.
Me: Yeah, we all know you're the "nipples."
Ego: Did you just air quote yourself whilst talking to yourself?
Me: Man. I guess I did. You make me do stupid things, Ego. You're a doucher.
Ego: You're a doucher. I make people laugh.
Me: Listen, I really think we should thank all those people that commented.
Ego: Why?
Me: Well, you know, if it weren't for them, you wouldn't be so big I need a suitcase to carry you around in.
Ego: What? Who you callin big, fatty?
Me: You know damn well who I'm callin big. You. You occupy the Central and Eastern time zones.
Ego: Yeah man, and I'm stuck in both with your ass.
Me: Nice.
Ego: Yeah it was.
Me: Anyway, I'm telling them thank you.
Ego: No dude. And here's why. The second you tell them that, they'll realize what they're doing, and they'll leave you. Straight up.
Me: What? Did you just admit to having a weakness?
Ego: What?! Naw man. I'm just sayin.
Me: You have some serious issues, you know that?
Ego: Like what?
Me: I am starting to suspect that you're nothing but a little emo kid, crying out for attention.
Ego: Well then why don't you get me a razor blade?
Me: Seriously?
Ego: No, not seriously, shithead.
Me: Don't call me a shithead.
Ego: Then don't act like one, and try to psycho-analyze me and stuff.
Me: I'm just sayin. I think they need to be thanked, and the behavior encouraged so that they come back and do it again.
Ego: They'll be back. You wanna know why?
Me: Your magnetic personality and humbly cheerful disposition?
Ego: Shithead. No, because I'm the n...
Me: The nipples? Yeah, you said that.
Ego: Shithead.
Me: You call me that one more time, and I'm going to get a razor.
Pain Tolerance: Hey Ego, shut your damn mouth!
Ego and Me: Pussy...

So yeah... That conversation actually took place. I was so excited yesterday as the comments climbed higher and higher towards 50, and I just want to take this time to say...

THANK YOU!

That's real.

Have a happy Friday, and a great weekend! I'll probably be back tomorrow with a Conversation with Kid Funk.

I'm also kickin around the idea of a "Meet My Brothers" set of posts soon. Is that something you'd like to see? It might actually involve participation, which I know can scare y'all more than white person whose remote gets stuck on UPN on a Tuesday night.

"And we always say, 'It would be, good to go away, someday.' But if there's nothing there to make things change, if it's the same for you, I'll just hang." -Matchbox 20

33 comments:

  1. Ooo and Matchbox 20 for a triple win! Nice.
    Glad I could head up that 50 comments. You're welcome.
    I love these conversations, they crack me UP.
    And yes, I think the Meet My Brothers would be awesome. To even think that there are more of you in the world sort of boggles the imagination.

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  2. Oh goodness!! That was hysterical!! Really. Sometimes I just say LOL but this time I really was LOL. haha!

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  3. Sweet! It's always nice to have conversations with yourself. You're not crazy...

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  4. 'Sup wit all da man love for Rob Thomas? You crushin' on him or what?

    *bitch slap* that was for your EGO

    The Brothers Sloat, is it gonna be like The Brothers Grimm? If so, please mark me down for a yes.

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  5. Wow - I'd love to leave a comment to congratulate you, but I don't want your ego to get any bigger and bust your back luggin it all around. Hmm.. so do I leave a comment or not? Wait, huh, what do you mean I just did?

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  6. LOL! You've earned every bit of that ego! I'm grabbing that ego's button right now by the nipples!!

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  7. I can get to 50 comments pretty easily if I write the first 49 or so.

    Helpful tip for future reference.

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  8. I love calling people shithead, Shithead!

    Nipples are the best part dude, just sayin'....

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  9. 50 comments about shitting your pants? FTW!

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  10. I love your new look, Travy G! But QUIT PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN! Nipple talk is okay, but the time zone shiggedy? STOP IT!

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  11. Seems to me you should shit your pants more often. A video next time perhaps?

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  12. roflmbo ummm funny I never thought a man's ego was contained within the nipples I was figuring lower lol... we come back cause we love ya and your funnier then shit oh wait sorry bad memories I know my bad...

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  13. LMFAO Youre hilarious. I like you. And ego. And pain tolerance is a pussy. Just saying!

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  14. 50 comments?

    Ha!

    I fart in your general direction.

    50 comments! Pssshhh!

    Yeah, bring on your brothers.

    It's time they set everyone straight.

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  15. 50 comments, nipples and razors. hmmmmmmm, a little freaky. LOL

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  16. Who wouldn't comment on a post about you sh*ttin yourself. Honestly, I'm disappointed in the 130 people that didn't comment. I mean, really?

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  17. I'm loving the MB20 quotes....you are making THIS ohioan very happy here! :)

    Glad you and your ego have such a good relationship...but put down the razorblade....I can't have you bleeding to death now can I? No, i cannot!

    and congrats...I'm glad things are going well for you...and you are getting lots of good conversations started.

    xoxo
    ~hl~

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  18. "What? Were there boobs? What?"

    matchless

    this is why there were 50 then and why there will be 50+ for many days to come

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  19. lol!!! I've had those type of conversations before!

    congrats on your 50 posts! How exciting!!

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  20. OMG. How did I miss the previous post? I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Yes that happens. But at least I didn't poo ;)

    This one is hysterical too. I'm so glad I found you...

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  21. Hey Travis,
    I am new to your blog. Lauren sent me. She said to give you some love. I don't think I would go that far. LOL!!! I look forward to reading more of your blog. Good Stuff!!! Don't forget to "Keep it Real"
    Thanks
    Steve
    wheels209

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  22. yes...i like the idea of meeting your brothers. i would like to see if insanity runs in the family or if it's just something you have acquired.

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  23. I bet it got redundant creating 50 different accounts and coming back over and over again trying to think of original responses to yourself. ;)

    And BTW, you'd have to do a lot to get rid of us. It's not like any of us have anything better to do.....

    *smooches™

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  24. If you had that ego and worked out, I'd be worried.

    Really worried.

    As in, take you to a padded room worried.

    At least we're not there yet.

    -Joshua

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  25. Uhh. I just realized what I'm doing. And I'm going to leave you know. Straight up.

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  26. Shit is in the air lately. Or well, in your case, in your pants. But still.

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  27. Do the voices in my head bother you too?

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  28. Told my hubby and daughter about your "shitty''post so they could laught.. would love to hear about your brothers.

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  29. Poop brings the commentors. It's a universal rule of blogging. Can I say That's Real? Or do I have to pay you a dollar to use it?

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  30. Nothing like a good ol'blowout to christen a great new layout!

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  31. (((Shutter)))

    I come here because I like to read your words of wisdom.

    But keep up the Matchbox 20 and we will need to have words.

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  32. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not the ONLY one who has conversations with themselves.

    Tee-hee

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  33. "Ego: Dude, did you see that?
    Me: What? Were there boobs? What?"

    This is EVERY man's ego conversation, isn't it?

    Priceless!

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The price for my stories is your conversation.