Sunday, January 3, 2010

Memoir Monday: The '10 Diet Run.

(Hey guys and gals. It's Memoir Monday time! This is where you write down a story about yourself, steal my button down there, drink a beer, and call it all a win. The only rule is that it has to be true, other than that, there are no rules. I keep getting more and more people to follow my lead! It's catching on! Will YOU be one on the bandwagon this week? Once you post, let me know, and I will link you up down there for all my kick ass bloggy followers to go and read! Y'all are the greatest, and I love you. If you want to see all the Memoir Monday posts, just click on the book!)



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Well folks...

I made it 48 hours on the diet of '10.

As it turns out, a lot of you were right.

Go ahead.

Tell me I told you so.

I'll listen out one ear while I stuff the other one with areosol cheese in a desperate attempt to somehow make up the calories for those 48 hours of restricted hell on earth.

It was brutal y'all.

Did you READ my Sesame Street post? I was still drunk. I was still drunk because a.) I had a half a bottle of Jager, some Vodka, and a bunch of beers the night before, and b.) I hadn't had anything else on my stomach to soak that booze up.

I just want to thank everyone for their support, and you'll be glad to know that I've modified the diet to include food. I'm still going to be exercising though, although I forgot to do that yesterday.

Dang.

Since I know that some of you will want to how it all ended, I will tell you.

I almost fell over, and I got real cold. I think my sugar probably got low. And by low I mean normal, since I don't think I've ever been low in my life.

We had a gift card to Chili's where we went and I proceded to eat an approximate metric ton of chips and salsa.

How hungry was I?

A kid (the same kid that made me watch Sesame Street, as a matter of fact) threw up somewhere in the neighborhood of a gallon and a half of mucus AT THE TABLE, INTO THE CHIP TRAY.

No. I didn't eat a chip out of it after that, but for sure, I asked for another chip tray, and made even shorter work of it. The queso happened to look exactly like the above mentioned mucus, and do you think that slowed me down? Nope. Eat on, Big T.

Anyway, yeah. It's over.

Other Non-Cheating Buffets Of Memories Today...GO READ THEM!