Thursday, February 25, 2010

Guest Blog #2, BigSis From Speaking Of Witch!

Folks, Blogger doesn't make a template that will hold the day I had yesterday, but I'll try to blog about it on Monday. That's why this post is a day late, but with BigSis at Speaking of Witch, it's never a dollar short.

See how I made her name big? That's so you'll click on it and go follow her. She's a funny lady, as she proves here right.....NOW!

Travis is one of the funniest people I know.  At first, I was honored that he invited me to guest post.  Then, I started worrying about what to post.  I certainly don't want to disappoint him, or his 213 followers.  Wow.  I think I was number 48 to join the band wagon.  Travis, you are my hero. 
So, anyway, I decided that what makes me laugh the hardest is other people's discomfort.  So, I'll share with you a glimpse into growing up with my parents...
On the secret of their long marriage: “Our pre-nup was that whoever left had to take the kids.”  41 years later they are still married, because apparently neither of them wants us. Still!

Whenever we'd been hustling along and my mother would fall behind my father would tell her to hurry up. She'd say, "I'm coming!" And he'd say, "Hell, you aren't even breathing hard yet."  I was much older before I learned what he meant and was retroactively disgusted that my father had such a dirty mind.

Around the same time there was a dirty joke that my father used to tell. The joke was always whispered so that I couldn't hear it. All I heard was the punch line: "Hardly anyone eats parsley."  Flash forward a few years and I heard the whole joke. It starts off: "What is the difference between parsley and pussy?" Yup - major retroactive EWWW!

And, on a less disturbing note, I remember how much fun my parents used to have drinking and partying with their friends at "the rivah." After one festive night the adults were all hung over. Instead of admitting this to a bunch of middle schoolers, they told us that they must have eaten some bad shrimp. We still tease them about eating a bad shrimp.
So, if you know me at all, that explains a bit of why I turned out the way I am.  And, if you don't know me, please come by and visit anytime.
Thanks Travis!


  1. Travy, did you hae some technical difficulty?

    Big Sis is a riot, glad to see her here!

  2. So I was an ass yesterday and didn't get this up. (TWHS)

    Here it is in all it's glory.

    I'm also going to redouble my efforts to reply in a smartass fashion to all commentors.

    Check your inboxes, bitches.

  3. Her name...


    SO BIG!

    Yeah, I'm jealous.

  4. One of the reasons we get along is that we both assumed we'd been the ass. We know we're in good company!

  5. It's okay big T, you can stop practicing won't make the Olympics this year....

    BigSis is a great lady and a fab read! Awesome to highlight her today!

  6. This is hilarious! Seriously, sounds like her dad was a preeeevert. LOVE it.
    By the way, Travis, was here yesterday looking for the guest post and I have to tell you...your bellybutton eating the q-tip?? Sickness. And awesomeness.

  7. OK so now I have to totally go see bigsis she sounds like my kinds of people.. and shame on you Travis fro beign greedy with her and hanging onto her for another day... tsk tsk tsk..

  8. wow! Love BigSis. Reminds of when I was in high school and my parents used to give us money to go out on Friday nights. I just assumed they were generous until I realized that Friday night was their night for "alone time"! Holy yuck!! They were paying us so that they could have noisy sex. I am still not right since that discovery!!

  9. I found you late but I found you..been following Big Sis for awhile and you are right she is funny..

    Me such a good influence I am just drink in front of my kids.. not like they are little or anything. :)

  10. This is hysterical and I'm going over to click on her BIG NAME and see her blog now! :)

  11. Wait.

    So people EAT pussy?

    All this time I've been licking it.

    Geez, really somebody should have told me before now.

  12. Poor kitties...and I thought my dad was warped...LOL!

  13. How are you? your website is nice
    you should watch at that crazy emo video clip:

  14. I have a couple of those fast forward and "ewwww" moments.

    Your parents and mine must have had the same lawyer. My parents are doing on 47 years together.

  15. Yep. Those stories explain a lot. Loved them! Makes me wonder what my kids will remember about Hubs and me and how much of it will be perverted.

  16. Hahaha! and ewww!

    Thanks for the guest post so that I may go and check her out!

  17. I had a shitty week last week and so am playing a little catch up.

    This explains SOOO MUCH about you, Big Sis ( almost wrote your real first name here, but I stopped myself!).

    The parsley one made me gag just a little bit. I'm so sorry you had to hear that stuff. The worst that ever happened to me was that I walked in on my parents having sex. More than once.

    Great guest post!


The price for my stories is your conversation.