Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Guest Post #7: The Office Scribe from Asleep Under My Desk!

What's cool about working in an office?

Well, the secretary always falls madly in love with a salesman, there is a funny nerdy guy that likes beets, and your boss is a hapless but well meaning idiot that never should have been promoted.

Right?

Lets see if

The Office Scribe over at Asleep Under My Desk

can confirm that for us. You see the big letters? Click on those, and that will take you to her wonderful land of hilarity and something called "Manic Mondays" which really gets in the way of my Memoirs!

Go check her out, and see if you can get her under the desk with you like I did.


Good day fine followers of Travis!

I think this is the first time I have ever been asked to guest blog, which is an honor unto itself, but to be asked by Travis, well, that is beyond words(insert kissass cough here).

Things you should know about me:
-      I write about working in an office because one of my writing teachers always said to write about what you know
-      Before I worked in an office I was a butcher.  Yes, a butcher.  As in someone who cuts up animals.  Best. Job. Ever.
-      I love lists, as is evident by me creating this list
-      I live outside Chicago which is the best city in the world, hands down.  And don’t even mention the Cubs to me.  I don’t watch minor league baseball.
-      I have a degree in Creative Writing which I prefer to call a B.A. in BS.
-      I play trivia at an Irish pub on Tuesdays and my team won tonight, which means I am in an awesome mood. 

And since I write about working in an office, I thought I would share with you some tips for surviving in an office:

1)  Never mess with the coffee.  If it’s empty, make a fresh pot. That way you can ensure your co-workers won’t shiv you with a letter opener when they are low on caffeine.
2)  Forget everything you have seen on TV and in the movies about working in an office.  About 90% of that stuff would not only get you hauled down to the HR office but would most likely get you fired.
3)  Bake.  It doesn’t matter if it is from scratch or a box, but baked items make co-workers happy.
4)  Always make a to-do list and cross things off it.  It will be a visual reminder to those who see it how awesome you are.
5)  Get a stressball.  You’ll need it.  Because nothing relieves stress like throwing things around the office.
6)  FYI – You can never have too many calendars.
7)  Keep your computer passwords where co-workers can find them so when you are out of the office they can access your files and leave you alone.
8)  Take every single sick day possible.  I sometimes come down with a disease on balmy spring days that can only be cured by a trip to the zoo.
9)  Hang out with the people you work with outside of the office. You don’t really know the people you work with until you have tossed back a few or gone on the run Thelma & Louise style.
10) Blog about it.  But remember, while the 1st amendment protects freedom of speech, it doesn’t protect you from pissed off co-workers who don’t find your comments about their smelly lunches or poor wardrobe choices flattering.

So that’s it people.  A little looksee into my world.  I’d love for you to stop by Asleep Under My Desk and read more about the exciting lives of office workers.  If you promise to keep reading I’ll promise to keep writing.

~ The Office Scribe

11 comments:

  1. I love the Scribe.

    She is able to take a mundane job and make it sound HILARIOUS.

    Plus, we're practically neighbors.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Props to me for writing this at about 1:30 AM this morning. I actually had to stop by because I didn't remember what I had sent Trav.

    I really can't wait to start drinking again. All these active brain cells are too much to handle.

    ReplyDelete
  3. As much as I love being in retirement, I do miss going to the office. I miss the antics of my co-workers, the dramas, the laughable moments and, most of all, payday.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've got to be the only person on the planet who doesn't like The Office and doesn't think it's funny, so I really enjoyed this post, especially #2. Thank you! And I've already made a mental note to keep the coffee coming - this girl ain't gettin' a letter opener to the back thankyouverymuch!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I work in a doctor's office and they always get all whiney and "we love to be healthy blah blah blah" when I bring in baked goods. Inconsiderate dousches.

    It's supposed to be 80 degrees tomorrow...I think I feel a cold coming on. *sniffle*

    ReplyDelete
  6. Funny. Love her blog! Makes me laugh and I know the pain.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the Scribe, have for awhile. So fun to see her here!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey Kate, we have people like that at my office too. So for St. Pat's we ordered dozens of green donuts AND some green apples for the healthy.

    Guess what was left over at the end of the day?

    And thank you everyone for the love and kudos to those new people who were smart enough to start following me!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Gimme a call on your next zoo trip. I'll see if I can manage to come down with some contagious illness. Not an STD though cuz I'm not that kind of girl.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I like lists too. Didn't realize how much until my three year old started compulsively making her own.
    "We can't go until I make my list mommy!"
    "Mommy! We have to go back, I left my list.!"
    Loud shrieking followed by "Oh no! My List!" when ever said list is dropped in the car requiring mom to drive one handed while frantically searching the floor with the other hand.

    Yep, what a gift I have bestowed!

    Kathy over at Everyday Bliss

    ReplyDelete
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