Monday, April 26, 2010

Memoir Monday: The Tyra Show.

(Hey y'all. This little thing is called Memoir Monday, and I'd be thrilled if you gave it a shot. Just jot down a story about yourself, grab my code down there, and I'll link you up to be read by all my wonderful blog buddies. The only rule? It has to be true. I am personally doing what I can to help cure your case of the Mondays. Thanks for playing along!)

By now, you've probably all heard about my pseudo celebrity status on the Tyra Banks show.

For those of you new to the blog, here is a brief rundown of how I got on the show.

I get an email from Tamara over at Cheapskate Mom about how the Tyra show is looking for cheapskates for their show. My guess is, they googled cheapskate, and saw her blog, then asked her to be on the show, to which she declined, because she's a giant freaking pansy very modest and non assuming person.

She did however, give them my email addy and said, "Hey, you want cheap and the perfect person, check this guy out." It was all downhill from there.

When I first found out about it, I thought it was a very elaborate prank. When I realized it was serious, I came to the understanding that this might be my only chance to ever be on TV, and so I ran with it. I called The Missus, explained it all to her, and then I got the call from the associate producer.

I was pretty worked up, and I have to say, I played them pretty well. I embellished when things needed to be touched up, and I was very high energy through the phone calls. Hell, I'm pretty sure I had my "spirit fingers" going with whatever hand wasn't holding the phone.

The lady told me she was going to call The Missus, so I immediately called her when I hung up the phone so we could corroborate stories. The Missus laid it on them, and from there, we were told they had to check with another producer, but that they loved our story. The producer called back, The Missus gave an Oscar worthy phone performance, tears included, and we were on our way to New York for the "I Have the Cheapest Mate in America" show.

They flew us out there for an evening, then we were to tape the show the next morning,then we were going to leave the next day. Not much time for sight seeing. Flying over NYC was one of the coolest things I have ever done, and I would do it over and over again. Within 10 minutes of landing I had pissed off my first New Yorker, who happened to be our driver, by saying I liked the Yanks instead of the Mets.

On the radio the entire time we were driving into Manhattan, they kept saying that the blizzard of 10 was on the way, and that there were no flights expected to get out the next day. This caused us a brief bit of panic, because we didn't know if our gracious hosts were willing to set us up with another nights hotel stay and some meal money. After all, we were there because I am so cheap, right? The blizzard did hit the next day, and they did give us more eating money and another night in the hotel, as well as change our flight around, which gave us a chance to see Chicago and New Jersey, which they can keep.

I won't go into details on the NY sight seeing. All I'll say is if you haven't been there, go. Folks, it felt like I was home for the first time in my life. I would live there in a minute if The Missus would move with me. I love it. We soaked as much of it in as we could, took hundreds of pictures, then got some sushi, and went to bed in a twin size bed, because they had booked us a room with two beds.

The next morning, we went to tape the show. Getting into the studio itself was a chore, they made us surrender any cameras, phones, or any kind of recording devices, and they had two rather large bodyguards frisk us before we went it. I'll tell you this, I am under contract not to slander or defame the show. So I won't do that, but the number one question I have gotten since our return has been, "Was Tyra nice?" Her crew was amazing. They were hospitable, they were friendly, they were professional. But can you tell me the last time anyone looked at you and said, "Hey, so and so supermodel is so NICE!" Bet you can count that on an amputated hand...

Did we lie about some things to get on TV? Yes we did. Am I really that cheap? No I'm not. Hell, I just bought a PS3 and a new TV. Do we spend 5 hours every week grocery shopping with thousands of coupons that I make my wife steal the internet to get? That coupon book wasn't ours, the shopping trips last about an hour, and we are now the proud owners of our very own internet signal.

They edited the show down a lot, because at one point, the "financial advisor" said that we should get rid of my truck and carpool together to our separate jobs in SEPARATE FREAKING CITIES. That just wasn't good advice. They also took out EVERYTHING that had to do with my blog. Everything. That really pissed me off, because I gave some shout outs.

Essentially, they made it sound like I was the worst husband ever. Which is exactly what The Missus and I led them to believe. So I can't play the blame game. Instead, what I can tell you is this:

After the segment was over, and I mean RIGHT AFTER Tyra said, "We'll be right back," she got up, walked across the stage, and said, "I need powder on my forehead." We were ushered quickly off the stage and into the green room, and nine and a half minutes of my fame was over. Someone owes me five and a half minutes. That was the last time I ever saw Tyra Banks. We never saw her before the show, and we didn't see her after.

I really don't know why I expected anything different.

I've asked The Missus to give me her thoughts on the experience in general:

"It was a lot of fun, we got to experience a lot of stuff. The show was a disappointment, it was too much business and not enough enjoyment. I'd really like to go back without the snow, and with more money to shop."

There you have it folks. The juicy details, the behind the scenes look, the dirty truth. If you have any questions, ask them in the comments, I'll answer them, unless it will put me in jeopardy of being sued, which I might be already. That's okay though, y'all got my back...right? Start sending attorney fees my way!

Other Non-Televised Walks Down Memory Lane This Week: (GO READ THEM!)

Momma Fargo's Memoir Monday: With TV Travis!

Madmother's Memoir Monday: Anzac Day: Lest We Forget.

Juicebox's Memoir Monday: Prom Style.

Daffy's Memoir Monday: Jose Can You Sing?

That One Mom's Memoir Monday: Becoming An Only Parent; Part 5.

Erin's Memoir Monday: My Fear Of Flying (not Erica Jong's), Or Why Pan Am Went Down. (Literally)

Lauren's Memoir Monday: The First Time I Changed The Bumper On My Car.

Annie's Memoir Monday: The Ties That Bind.

Dame Nuisance's Memoir Monday: Puking Drunk.

Angel's Memoir Monday.

Ed's Memoir Monday: It's Amazing I Can Still Count To Ten.

Kate's Memoir Monday: A Walk On The (Culinary) Wild Side.

Taylor's Memoir Monday: He Could Have Been A Mafia Legend.


  1. Very cool, Travis. I only saw your pics on the internet. Sad to miss the show. You and the Missus looked very nice, cute, and happy.

  2. Your description does not surprise me. When she said she needed powder on her forehead, I would have said, “Yeah, thought you turning black before my eyes.”

  3. I hope you make it back to NYC but NJ has it's good sides too! Really! I'm not surprised...I went to Oprah and Ellen and was disappointed the lack of audience interaction. Have a great week.

  4. Hehehe, I totally DVR'd it and have been watching ALL weekend! It's sooo fricking funny!!! I love that you are such a ham and that The Missus has your back. You guys are amazing!

  5. Come on people - link ya blogs!

    Okay Trav, after a horror week last week and a conspicuous absence (though I did lodge a note from my mum, oh alright, from me), here is mine:

    Love to Tyra. Toodles.

  6. Hey ... this is my firt Monday Memoir ... and I'll make you a dear- I'll send you some $ for the legal fees if you send me a tiara! (Stop by my place when you can and you'll get the tiara ;-) Following you now ... and glad I finaly made it over here!

  7. You left out the part where you were IM'ing me the whole time asking me where the best massage parlors were.


  8. Oh, the TYRA BANKS show!

    I thought you were on America's Next Top Model..

    This explains a lot ;-)

  9. Oh I'm not really surprised to learn she wasn't super friendly. Next time you should try to get on one of those Judge shows.

  10. I missed it dagnabbit... stupid doctors appointments.. grrr will link up my memoir in a ya hun..

  11. I'm not surprised, either, but disappointed for you and your fifteeen minutes of fame!


    sweet that you tried to give some shout outs!

  12. Famous people - pshaw

    YOU however are the goat's milk baby....the GOAT'S MILK!

  13. I'm sorry I missed seeing the show on Friday but glad you enjoyed the trip itself to NY on her dime!

  14. I bet it's the same on the Oprah show - but then you only get to see Chicago instead of New York - blech. I'm eagerly awaiting your other 5-1/2 minutes of fame. You got it comin'!


  16. Can't say I'm too sad about missing out.

    I do wish I would have been able to watch it online. Stupid internet. Stupid Tyra show. No wonder it was cancelled.

  17. I knew that wasn't the Travi$ I know!

  18. All I can think of when I see Tyra is her telling people to "smile with your eyes" on America's Next Top Model. That phrase kind of makes me want to punch babies. She seems like a trip.

    I'm with you on NYC - if it wouldn't require me hooking on the corner just to have enough money to live there, I would move in a heartbeat. It always has been and always will be one of my favorite places in the world to visit.

  19. I missed the show because I was in NYC last week. Like you, I would move there in a second if I didn't have the kidlets and could afford it.

  20. NJ is amazing. Mostly because I can go to NY anytime I want and it doesn't require me to purchase airplane tickets or pay for an overpriced hotel room. So there!!!

  21. Thanks Travis, I haven't watched the show yet, we were away all weekend but I plan to, it's on the DVR. I've often wondered what goes on behind the scenes and how the guests are really treated by the hosts. Guess this is one show I won't be watching again. Never was a big fan of Tyra's anyway. Oh, let me know where to send money to pay for your legal team.

  22. At least you got a free trip out of the deal even if you had to lie through your teeth to get there!

    I, too, love New York. But, c'mon, did you even give Chicago a chance? It's a great city, too. Not because I'm from a suburb of it, but really, you should go back there and see it. Just saying. Maybe you can lie your way to the Oprah say. Yeah, that's the ticket. But it would have to be soon since she's ending the show, right?

  23. Oh Tyra. You need a lot of powder indeed to cover that forehead. Yikes.

  24. Well.


    I'm sorry I missed this. I guess there was some fallout to me being all non-bloggy and depressed.


    I'll try to catch you on re-runs, man.

  25. I missed the show, but am glad you and the Missus had fun in NYC on Tyra's dime since she was such a god awful diva not wantin' to rub elbows with the little people. NYC is tops in my book. Love to visit. Would live there, too, if someone was willing to pay me the big bucks. Alas, no one is, so I'll have to content myself with being a tourist.

  26. Who you calling a pansy??

    I got a question for you...

    How the flippin' eff did you and the missus happen to fit on a twin size bed together??


    So Tyty didn't even say "Nice to meet you" Nothing?

    What a mean woman.

    Gee I'm sorry I didn't get to be the Cheapest Wife in America.

  27. Oh, yeah, and add me to the list, yo:

  28. I have never liked Tyra anyways! Thats the first time Ive even watched her show. I was surprised how short your segment was! Oh well - at least you got a free trip!

  29. I missed the show. Not surprised though. I wouldn't imagine Tyra would be all that personable. Glad you got to enjoy the city on her.

    I'm playing along this week.

  30. What's with all the ASShats missing your moment in the spotlight?

    Damn dude! I watched it. I watched it, I made the kids watch it, BDC watched it. We all loved it.

    Even the boys said that the wife is awesome for playing it up so ya'll could go to NYC for free!

  31. I am SO very late coming around to read this, sorry about that. I am glad you guys had a good time for the most part. :) I'm still totally bummed I didn't get to see it...stupid forgetting to set the DVR! You're a star in my book! And yeah, just give me a jingle if you need some bail money, I'll see what I can do.

  32. Meh, I wish it wasn't how I expected it to be. I had been really excited to read all about this. My cousin worked for tyra and i had heard some kind of weird shit had gone down.I'm sorry it wasn't more exciting. I've had a brush with the reality tv world and it wasn't that different/. A lot more exciting in theory. But still cool that you got to experience it, and New York!

  33. I watched it! I can't believe how short the segment was. Glad to hear you're not the cheapskate bastard they made you out to be. You know them people and their shows, the more negativity, the bigger the ratings. I never thought she was nice. I've seen her interact with people; plus, the few times I've seen her show, she's a total judgmental bitch. She is never neutral about topics she doesn't agree with like a good talk show host should be.

    Well, at least you got a free trip. :)

  34. " well as change our flight around, which gave us a chance to see Chicago and New Jersey, which they can keep....."

    Did I miss something?....


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