Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Blog Turns 1 Today...

On this day last year, I sat down at a computer, and I typed my very first blog. Prior to that, I had been reading Johnny Virgil over at 15 Minute Lunch, Diesel over at Mattress Police, and Shine over at Shine Out Loud, and I decided that since they were making people laugh, I would too.

So I created this little slice of heaven. Few of you probably remember my original layout. It was really gay. I won this new thing in a contest, one of many things I've won.

Let's review a couple of things that have happened in that year.

1. My very first blog follower was Statgirl, although Jeff over at Bad Monsters joined real quickly.
2. My blog started attracting Google searchers when I wrote a post about Birthday Sex.
3. Tamara from Cheapskate Mom found me when she Googled that song for a post, then I won her caption contest, further increasing my follower count.
4. I got pissed when I couldn't get over 50 followers and vowed to you that I wouldn't be concerned with it anymore. I lied. I now have 258. I want more, dammit. Tell your friends. Now. Seriously. Do it.
5. I've had 5 jobs in the last year...you've heard about them all.
6. I started Memoir Monday in August of last year, and I've slacked on it here lately. It will come back, I promise.
7. I learned that racism in Kentucky doesn't get you near as many comments as a good poop story.
8. I joined the ranks of TMI hosted by LiLu, and further increased my traffic.
9. Kid Funk got a blog...then neglected it like my last 4 fish.
10. I FINALLY got Shine and Johnny Virgil to comment on a post. Still waiting for Diesel.
11. I've shown you all more than once that I still have daddy issues.
12. I introduced you to The Missus.
13. I've won about $200 worth of stuff over the past year.
14. I tried to write a novel in a month.
15. I encountered the great diet epic fail of '10.
16. My popularity peaked at 56 comments...on a poop story.
17. I told the entire blog community I have a small penis, prompting Shine to have a weird conversation with a co-worker.
18. I WOUND UP ON THE TYRA BANKS SHOW. Thanks once again to Tamara at Cheapskate Mom.
19. I tried out for The Biggest Loser...and failed...
20. ...but I really won, because when I started blogging one year ago today, I weighed in at 370 pounds. This Sunday when I weigh in, the scale is going to say under 300, and I'm throwing a party. You're invited.
21. I participated in a real life blog get together called TAR in St. Louis.

Over the last year I have made friends and lost friends, both real and virtual, and it has been one hell of a ride. I'd like to say this would go on forever, but unfortunately that's not possible. I have chosen the one year anniversary of my blog to tell you that I'm shutting this place down.

Naw. I'm just yankin ya. I gots shit going on right now, folks. That's why I'm so slow on posting. But right now, we're trying to get The Missus pregnant, we both have new jobs, we're both losing weight, we're trying to exercise, and really, the blogging world has me pretty jaded right now. I'll be back though, and in the meantime I'm trying to pump just enough posts into this thing to keep it afloat. I did the same thing to your mother that one time we were stranded at sea.

ZING!

Seriously though, I love you all, and this has been one hell of a ride. I look forward to what the next year brings, and it damn well better bring me smaller titties.

Stay up.

That's what she said.

ZING!