Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Blog Turns 1 Today...

On this day last year, I sat down at a computer, and I typed my very first blog. Prior to that, I had been reading Johnny Virgil over at 15 Minute Lunch, Diesel over at Mattress Police, and Shine over at Shine Out Loud, and I decided that since they were making people laugh, I would too.

So I created this little slice of heaven. Few of you probably remember my original layout. It was really gay. I won this new thing in a contest, one of many things I've won.

Let's review a couple of things that have happened in that year.

1. My very first blog follower was Statgirl, although Jeff over at Bad Monsters joined real quickly.
2. My blog started attracting Google searchers when I wrote a post about Birthday Sex.
3. Tamara from Cheapskate Mom found me when she Googled that song for a post, then I won her caption contest, further increasing my follower count.
4. I got pissed when I couldn't get over 50 followers and vowed to you that I wouldn't be concerned with it anymore. I lied. I now have 258. I want more, dammit. Tell your friends. Now. Seriously. Do it.
5. I've had 5 jobs in the last've heard about them all.
6. I started Memoir Monday in August of last year, and I've slacked on it here lately. It will come back, I promise.
7. I learned that racism in Kentucky doesn't get you near as many comments as a good poop story.
8. I joined the ranks of TMI hosted by LiLu, and further increased my traffic.
9. Kid Funk got a blog...then neglected it like my last 4 fish.
10. I FINALLY got Shine and Johnny Virgil to comment on a post. Still waiting for Diesel.
11. I've shown you all more than once that I still have daddy issues.
12. I introduced you to The Missus.
13. I've won about $200 worth of stuff over the past year.
14. I tried to write a novel in a month.
15. I encountered the great diet epic fail of '10.
16. My popularity peaked at 56 comments...on a poop story.
17. I told the entire blog community I have a small penis, prompting Shine to have a weird conversation with a co-worker.
18. I WOUND UP ON THE TYRA BANKS SHOW. Thanks once again to Tamara at Cheapskate Mom.
19. I tried out for The Biggest Loser...and failed...
20. ...but I really won, because when I started blogging one year ago today, I weighed in at 370 pounds. This Sunday when I weigh in, the scale is going to say under 300, and I'm throwing a party. You're invited.
21. I participated in a real life blog get together called TAR in St. Louis.

Over the last year I have made friends and lost friends, both real and virtual, and it has been one hell of a ride. I'd like to say this would go on forever, but unfortunately that's not possible. I have chosen the one year anniversary of my blog to tell you that I'm shutting this place down.

Naw. I'm just yankin ya. I gots shit going on right now, folks. That's why I'm so slow on posting. But right now, we're trying to get The Missus pregnant, we both have new jobs, we're both losing weight, we're trying to exercise, and really, the blogging world has me pretty jaded right now. I'll be back though, and in the meantime I'm trying to pump just enough posts into this thing to keep it afloat. I did the same thing to your mother that one time we were stranded at sea.


Seriously though, I love you all, and this has been one hell of a ride. I look forward to what the next year brings, and it damn well better bring me smaller titties.

Stay up.

That's what she said.



  1. I'd say I'm honored, but my only "mention" is that I got you traffic.

    I'm... touched?

  2. Happy anniversary, Travis. thought we already had the discussion about 'Zing.'

    You never ever listen to me.

  3. Alright. I'm here.

    Here to tell you that your weightloss is fantastic but your age is a facade.

    Since Ed wont let me comment anymore on his blog, I need to harrass someone else.

    I think you may be the winner of that title.

  4. Happy anniversary bro. Great recap post.

  5. Wait. You're...procreating?

    Also, I still laugh about the time you told the internets you have a small penis and then the other day how you made it worse when you claimed to be "lunch twinsies!" with Jay. You are the KING of foot in mouth.

  6. You also gave away a lamp or some shit...that should be on the list.

    If you want more readers, try to work yourself into the weight-loss community. There's about a billion diet blogs on Blogger. You can check my blogroll if you wanna add some, but I will admit, it can sometimes get a little boring. Quantity over quality? Spoken like a true fattie!

  7. Happy Anniversary Big Guy!

    Or maybe I sh should start calling you Tiny T! I like the sound of that. It works. I like it a lot. And since you told us your junk is small, I'm thinking TINY works.

    Awesome! Still....kicking your ass yo!

  8. Here's to smaller titties (for you) and lots and lots of baby making practice (for the both of you!) Thanks for all the laughs!!:)

  9. Happy Anniversary or Blog Birth or what ever it's called. You have given me quiet a few chuckles. Sorry to see you slacking off.

  10. Happy Blogaversary! Even though you never visit me anymore I still think you're a heck of a guy and I'm so proud of your weight loss.

  11. Hey trav look at it this way, if it takes the perfect moment of sex to make a baby and that takes rounds and rounds of practice what an awesome thing to fail at repeatedly. I mean seriously think about the practice it takes and ummm if your wife is like I was preggo the practice sessions will increase seriously.. Um for the record I never thought you had a small penis BUT did you know that for EVERY 20 lbs you lose your penis gains an inch in length on average. yeah figure those statistis lol. I too would like smaller titties.. no seriously I would.. transplant anyone I will give 5 lb of boobage for some ghetto butt trade lol..

  12. gee, i really appreciate my recognition! i'm honored to have met you too, asshole!

    you're trying to make a mini travis? huh. i wanted to say something snarky in regards to that but i'm at a loss. so, um... squirt squirt!

  13. we wish you a happy birthday, we wish you a happy birthday, we wish you a happy birthday, and a happy next year!

  14. Way to go. 70 pounds is definitely something to get excited about. Get excited about...sounded dirty. I know. I don't care. Your blog is great. I love it. Even if I'm a lazy ass follower who rarely comments...because I'm a lazy ass follower.

  15. I knew this would happen. You start losing weight, looking a little svelte (I like saying that word. svelte. I like how my tongue moves around my teeth. oh! I forgot I was blogging.) anyway, now you're looking sharp, and you toss your followers away like, well like the used condoms you and wifey used to use.

    Well don't worry, we'll be waiting for you to come back. Think of us in the bedroom, applauding you guys, cheering you on!

    Hope that works.

    Hurry back, sucker!

  16. In...Out...Repeat!

    Good Luck

  17. Awesome Milestones!!!!!

    Amazing how much has changed, how far you've come and what you've learned since the birth of your blog.

    Keeping you and the Missus in my fertile thoughts ;O)

  18. Happy blogoversary T!

    I think you had about 8 followers when I came along.

    I have watched you grow (not literally, that's the missus job)into an internet juggernaut.

    Keep up the good work.

    I'm talking about the one that pays the bills, not this shit.


  19. Happy 1 year...

    Just wanted to say Hello! I think this is the first time I have commented, but I follow you, LOL..

    Congrats on the weight-loss. I too have seen the 370 number on the scale (well 369).. It sucked! But now I am usually around 149. Yes I lost 220 pounds!!! I also celebrated little milestones as well. I hope you blow it up when you hit the under 300 mark!!!!! That is a huge accomplishment!

  20. Sorry about that... I wanted to give you the link to a blog award but I linked up the wrong thing... anyway CLICK HERE to see it... nothing needs to be done with it but maybe you will get more of the followers you crave!.

    Congratulations on the one year milestone!

  21. Happy Blogsary!!!

    Best of luck with the babymaking! God knows it took us 7 years!!! But I was really pregnant once I got down to healthy weight. ;)

    (gained all the fat back with the prego, so here I go again, trying to lose it)

  22. Good luck with the baby making!! Congrats on your 1 year milestone!!

    I miss you Big Guy!

  23. Congrats! :) I always look forward to reading your stuff cause it always gives me a good laugh. :)

  24. Congratulations on your amazing weightloss journey AND your bloggiversary! <3

  25. You scared the crap out of me! I thought you were quitting! Stop stressing me out, Trav!

    Congrats on your one year!

  26. congrats on the one year , and all that came with it!

    good luck in the baby makin department too -- it's just like fishin.. oh wait, i mean, like ridin a bike. yeh, somethin like that ;))

    just roll with it baby

    enjoy whatever comes your way-

  27. I like your blog !!Thank you. They are really great .
    do not miss my goods , they are very beautiful !!
    Fashion watches
    Discount watches
    Antique pocket watches
    Engraved pocket watches

  28. Good luck on that whole gettin' knocked up thing, and seriously, dude, I am so proud of you for losing so much weight!

  29. Amazing year for you, Travis!

    I hope you and The Missus conceive. Is that what the semen in a cup tweet was about (that I didn't understand)?



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