Friday, August 13, 2010

It Finally Happened.

Hi! My name is Travis, I am a 27 year old, red blooded, hormone fueled, egotistical, smart ass American male.

You throw all of these things together, and one thing would be assumed about me so quickly, quietly, and easily that it would never be brought up unless I did it. And when I brought it up, you'd act very surprised, and look at me kind of differently.

I've never been in a fight. I've never taken a swing at anyone, I've never beat anyone up, I've never had my ass kicked.

I've never seen the point in it. I don't like watching UFC fights on TV, and I don't care for watching boxing or any kind of fighting unless it's in the movies. With my size, there aren't a lot of people who would start something with me, and if someone does get antsy, I beat them verbally before it ever comes to words.

I'm a lover, not a fighter. Make love, not war. All that hippie BS. I don't buy into that, I'd just rather not fight. I'm not one of those guys that says, "Oh, I don't fight because I'm scared of what I'll do, also I have a 15 inch penis." I hate those guys. I don't fight because I don't like confrontation. You want to fight? Let's play Scrabble.

As some of you know, I'm taking the Tae Kwon Do. As some of you might figure out, taking a martial arts class eventually involves...sparring.

That happened last night.

I was given some headgear and some hand pads, and I was tossed into the ring for 2 minutes.

My opponent?

Rocky. A 50+ male who has trouble standing up straight and who can't walk real well.

Yeah, he was the only one in my "weight class."

The bell rang, and I went out and waited on him, bound and determined that I wasn't going to hit him first unless he hit me. Them's the rules of the street, people. Thug life and what not. We just sort of danced around each other, then he came in with it. Only, I thought he came in with it. Turns out, he was just kind of stumbling forward a little bit, and is fist kind of moved towards me.

So I punched his fist and then popped him one on the earhole.

I don't think Rocky ever really recovered from that, but he finally came after me. The whole time, the instructor is yelling, "TURN LOOSE THAT RIGHT ARM, ROCKY!" If he ever turned it loose, I don't remember. All I know is that at the end of 2 minutes, I was exhausted, and I'm pretty sure I had won.

If I had any doubts about winning, the CPR they had to do on Rocky cleared them up somewhat, then the EMS workers that tried to revive him removed them completely.

I'm kidding. I didn't kill the guy.

We got out of the ring, I sat down, and I realized that maybe I didn't want to do Tae Kwon Do anymore. I just don't like the fighting. When I got dressed to leave, one of the assistant instructors said, "You have amazing control with your hands."

"It comes from many years of chronic masturbation."

I didn't say that...

But seriously, what should I do? Will the dislike of fighting eventually fall by the wayside? Or will I feel bad about hitting someone every single time I get in the ring? I don't want to throw money away every month if I'm not going to eventually learn how to hit someone without feeling bad. And how bad am I going to feel when I get my ass kicked? I'm pretty sure there's no crying in Tae Kwon Do.

And so I'm at an impasse, the proverbial "fight or flight." I have to make a decision, and I have no idea what I'm going to do.


  1. Travis hun if you are that bothered by it then don't put money out for something you are not truly enjoying. It's that simple. I don't like to fight either.. but if I had to I could. There are other things you can do to get exercise and shape up that don't involve fighting..

  2. I spar in my Kempo class every Friday night.

    I have a first place tournament trophy to show for it.

    I'm 5'3" tall and soon to be 42 years old and have had a ruptured disk repaired, and broke the same hand TWICE while fighting there.

    If there's anyone who shouldn't be sparring, dude, it's ME.

    But you can't deny how fun it is to punch and kick someone and get exercise while you're doing it.

    Give it'll figure out how fun it is.

    Trust me. Or else I'll kick your ass.

  3. I think the reason people don't feel bad when enrolled in teachings such as these is because they are TAUGHT the mindset that goes along with it. Not everyone who fights is confrontational...

    Here, I think I will let "the master": tell you:

    Daniel: Hey - you ever get into fights when you were a kid?
    Miyagi: Huh - plenty.
    Daniel: Yeah, but it wasn't like the problem I have, right?
    Miyagi: Why? Fighting fighting. Same same.
    Daniel: Yeah, but you knew karate.
    Miyagi: Someone always know more.
    Daniel: You mean there were times when you were scared to fight?
    Miyagi: Always scare. Miyagi hate fighting.
    Daniel: Yeah, but you like karate.
    Miyagi: So?
    Daniel: So, karate's fighting. You train to fight.
    Miyagi: That what you think?
    Daniel: [pondering] No.
    Miyagi: Then why train?
    Daniel: [thinks] So I won't have to fight.
    Miyagi: [laughs] Miyagi have hope for you.

    Fighting isn't about fighting, it's about training, self discipline, learing a skill...that hopefully you'll never "REALLY" have to use the full force of.

    Sparing, think of if like in the animal kingdom....animals are always sparing, gearing up for the "big fight" should one ever arrive...minor bumps and bruises are just part of the game....just like in scrabble...someone stealing your triple word score right before you lay there is a blow to your game!

    I say don't give up yet....maybe you just need to get your head in the right place and see if that helps. If it still bothers you after doing it more, THEN decide.


  4. My son is a large boy. Well, MAN really (he just turned 24 lol). He played first peewee and then school football. He LOVED the game. Problem was they always made him right or left tackle because he's big. Larger than everyone on his teams he was. And he HATED it. Not because he was afraid to hurt anyone but because he didn't like to fight. Period. He eventually quit. I don't know if that helps...but you might want to find something a little less confrontational LOL

  5. I think your problem is the lack of a soundtrack, or fight anthem. You need something to get you hyped up. I would suggest you sit down and make a mix tape (don't pussy out and just make an iTunes playlist.)

    Then the next time you are at the gym, pop that baby in your ghetto blaster (thug life and all) and I gaurentee they'll have to pry you off your opponent.

  6. If it's something that bothers you then don't do it. :)

  7. Is it the sparring you don't like? Do you enjoy the rest of the class? then you may want to stick around a bit and think about the "training so you don't have to fight" philosophy. Martial arts has so much to offer besides sparring, you know?
    I do understand not wanting to fight - I did kung fu for 3 years and hated fighting, but I would have carried on (if I thought it would be safe to do forms while pregnant). And my husband did kung fu for 10 years and actually found that the training helped keep him from getting into many a fight. (Something to do with controlling your impulses, etc).

  8. I take Wing Chun Kung Fu. I don't like sparring either. I, however, force myself through it because I'm a 5'4" woman who works in the city and I want to be confident enough to fend someone off long enough to run full tilt for help. The fact that I work with Domestic Violence victims (who's angry insignifcant others would probably love to smack me around too) probably doesn't help.

    That said, if you don't like it, don't do it. Maybe try explaining it to your instructor and if they don't listen, look for another art. TKD is what's called a "hard" art and it's not for everyone. Wing Chun, for example, is a "soft" art where you don't fight force with force. So while my school does spar there's a lot less attention on fighting and more on defense. Our self-defense classes focus a lot of de-escalation techniques as well.

    food for thought. :-)

  9. I'm a fighter. Took Zen Do Kai lessons a while back and at first I was really hesitant (nice girls dont hit, y'know) and then one day I was matched up with one of the biggest guys in class (I'm 5'11"). He came at me like a freght train and wasn't being gentle at all!!! I totally kicked his ass.

    From then on I haved loved the feeling of being powerful and bad ass man!!!

  10. I say give it one more day and if your feeling as anti as you are after this day then you have your answer. Sometimes the first experience is so nerve wracking and stressful that its no good (what am I talking about now i ask you...)... but then you might find joy and inner strength so give it one more whirl.

    added you on the twitness..look forward to reading your tweets there.

  11. I say stick with it - after a few more bouts you'll start to enjoy it. It's competition, not like you're snaeaking up behind them in a dark alley and KAPOW!

    But if all else fails....ZUMBA!

    * falls over laughing hysterically *

  12. Aren't martial arts supposed to teach self control? Don't they teach not to fight... perhaps you can do it all but spar?

    I teach my kids not to fight and both took karate and had to spar.. they did great, sparring is still about control not jumping in swinging..

    Good luck

  13. I say, if you like it, keep going. But can you not spar? Maybe you can tell the instructor you'd just like to learn the basics so you can defend yourself if need be, but you don't want to spar. I dunno. They say martial arts is a great workout.
    sorry. guess I'm not much help. I'm just glad to hear you're a big teddy bear!

  14. Buy a gun.

    Bullets are cheaper, and you only have to pay when you actually use them.



  15. Man, you haven't lived until you have been beaten half to death.

  16. I've always felt that way about boxing. I think that I would love to lean how to box and try the training...I just don't know that I even want to actually box someone. Is that allowed?

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  18. Meh, if you don't love it don't waste your time. I say there are better things to do than fight.


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