Monday, October 25, 2010

Just An Adoption Update.

Most of you know that we're going to adopt a baby. That's more than likely been changed to two babies. As in, Travis is going to be a daddy squared. We've decided we want to adopt a sibling pair. It'd be cool if they were twins, but siblings nonetheless. 

Two kids.

I am fully prepared for Alicia to get pregnant with twins as soon as we complete the process. Then I will run screaming in to the night, probably naked, and you'll never hear from me again, except when a blog pops up on the internet called "I Like to Fish...2" and it's run by a lightly bearded man that looks similar to me only with more of a "has lived in a lean-to and maybe ate a couple of mushrooms" look. Then everyone will be like, "Travis?" And I'll say, "No, my name is Koprizacha, and I live in a lean-to." Then you'll explain to me how I've already posted this blog on my other blog and gave away the details of the plan I'm currently trying to carry out.

Dang. 

You can see that thinking about kids has already tweaked with my mind a bit. And by "tweaked" I mean "has run through my brain much the way a blind jouster would." I'm already considering the messes, the yelling, the complete and total wildness that only children can bring into your life. 

We are 3 classes into our 5 class series on what to expect when adopting children. Suffice it to say, it has not been easy. We have been forced to watch videos that make it very hard for me not to cry. I hate trying not to cry. It pisses me off. Another thing that pisses me off is being forced to think about what might have happened to our children before they came to us. Sure, it's going to be wonderful when we are all united as a family, but what about their family before? What happened? Why did they have to go through that? Why can't people be better parents? Why? Why WHY? 

Our first home study is Thursday. We will welcome a woman into our home, and she will tell us what we need to do to prepare it for children. Then she will scour our lives to make sure that we're not a couple of sadistic weirdos with a penchant for child crimes. Because apparently, those kinds of people exist, y'all. She will then pass judgement on us, receive the reference forms from our friends, and schedule another home study. I assume in that one she will look to see how we've made adjustments to our home to make it more kid friendly, and she will probably tell us what dirt she's dug up on us, such as this blog. 

(Hey there, case worker lady! If you're reading this, I just want to tell you how great your hair looks! Oh geez, please don't be bald.)

After we complete the classes and pass the home studies, we will be officially ready to begin looking at kids. We will sift through them as though we are picking a playground kickball team, and I think that is what bothers me the most. "Well, little Tommy has a weird hand, so no." We have the rare opportunity to pick our children, and to me that seems like an enormous responsibility. It also seems...wrong. 

"Why did you pick me, daddy?" 

Normally I would follow that with some kind of joke. I can't do that. Because there will be an answer. It will have been the hair, the smile, the athleticism, the way they laughed, the way they hugged, the way they expressed a desire to be loved by us, the freckles, the dimples, the ears, the teeth, the way they carry themselves, their confidence, their self-esteem, their mental condition, the way they talk, their eating habits, their background. There will be a reason. I can only hope that the reason will be the right one. 

So there you have it. The process so far. We have been wrung through an emotional wringer, we have had our intelligence insulted, we have been looked down upon by parents who haven't had to adopt. We have seen videos of kids who have been abused, molested, mistreated, and abandoned. I have learned that my relationship with my brothers is one of the most powerful things ever. We have listened to your stories, taken your advice, and been told, "Just wait." We have been shown nothing but love by a new Sunday School class. We have made new friends, we have lost friends. I have pretty much neglected each of you and your blogs. I am sorry for that. Real life, ya know? 

The pages turned slowly at first, but now it seems as if a speed reader has taken over the story of my life, and soon Part II of the book will start. A new beginning. All of the labels I have; husband, son, friend, writer, comic, fisherman, etc...will be rearranged so that something new can be added to that list. 

Father. 

20 comments:

  1. OH Travis seeing that last word Father did me in.. ya made me cry dangit. I am so happy for you and yeah I get it. There is a reason they are up for adoption and we are often left to wonder what kind of hell they endured before us. Sending you love prayers and tons of blessings..

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  2. Good Luck in your adoption process!

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  3. How truly amazing this will be for you. What a great story.

    I never thought about the picking out part.. what a tough question to answer.

    Prayers for your new family

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  4. I don't care HOW you become a parent, it's the most AWESOME feeling. EVER. And no matter how they come in to your life, it will be for the better.

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  5. i am so happy you're going through some of the details, it is honestly so intriguing and inspiring to me. it sounds so hard, though. i can't even imagine.

    pick the red haired and freckled kid. you know he had it rough.

    i can't wait to see you as a parent. it's going to be awesome.

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  6. That's so awesome, Travis. I firmly believe that you need more than one kid to fully experience the joy (whining) and wonder (poop) of parenthood, anyway. ;)

    Your remark on sadistic weirdos who are allowed to adopt reminds me ... there was a news story around here not too long ago about a couple who drowned their adopted 4-year-old son. WTF? How, with all the scrutiny you're forced to undergo, do people like that slip through the cracks?!?

    As far as the reason you pick your child ... there can't be a right or wrong. Because I think you'll just know - and won't even be able to pinpoint a reason in the first place.

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  7. Do you read Anymommy's blog? She is awesome and adopted a few kids. That is sooo great! Congrats! Kids are sooo much fun!

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  8. Trav, your words...wowee

    You know of my background in foster care so I know the kids you speak of and how difficult it is to know the torment these kids can endure before they are adopted. I am so touched that you would like to adopt siblings. Many times, siblings end up seperated and some lose touch forever. You and your wife are such loving and giving people to embark on this journey with your arms wide open eagerly awaiting to welcome parenthood through the blessing of two children. I am praying for you two and the children that will soon come into your lives. God Bless!

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  9. You're almost there! We're cheering for you! How can you select a child? I can't even imagine. I'd want them all!

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  10. I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! :) I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET THE NEWEST LITTLE SLOATS!!

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  11. Ugh, I was doing all right not tearing up until the very end there. Beautiful.

    In he end, there will be no one 'thing' that speaks to you about why this child is the one for you, rather than any others, you will just connect and know.

    Some children grow in our bodies, and some grow in our hearts. :)

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  12. Travy, I am so excited for you and Alicia! Babies are such an amazing gift and I am so excited for the two of you to be parents! God bless! I will keep you in my prayers!!!

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  13. I think it is so amazing that you are opening your hearts to adopted children. There are going to be many challenges, I'm sure, but you can handle it.

    You are going to be a wonderful father...a wonderful family.

    Oh and a little advice for 'Koprizacha' (wink wink), remember to stock your lean to with toilet paper. The good kind. Don't scrimp.

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  14. And you'll be a fabulous father too.

    best of luck with the process. :-) stock the lean-to well. ;-)

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  15. Endless congratulations to you Travis on your decision to adopt! I can't wait to read as it all comes together. Haha. You're gonna be a "daddy blogger"! Love it!

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  16. I was also holding in my tears until I read the last paragraph..."Father" got me, too...what an awesome set of parents those two lucky kids will have...

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  17. Oh wow Travis!! Father!! A powerful word!! Congrats and I can't wait to hear more!!

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  18. Not to add any additional stress, but my husband and I had just gone through all of the above when I found out I was pg with my son. In the throws of sleepless nights and baby blues, I got pg with my daughter. They are 13 months apart. Crazy shit happens sometimes when you have sex!

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  19. WOW!!
    How exciting!! Two kids at once!!

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