Friday, February 18, 2011

The Greatest Story Ever Told...

With all respects to Jesus and that fine story, the greatest story ever told actually happened two nights ago and was written by a bunch of teenagers.

Once there was a little girl who needed help. The little girl needed help getting NOS on her turtle so she could go to the store. On the way, the turtle saw a rabbit and they started to race! Then a semi came through and smashed the turtle and the rabbit to death! The rabbit did not die, he came back as a zombie and ate all the turtles that were left. But the turtles were from Iraq and exploded! 

-The End

There you have it, folks. Rabbits and turtles racing, which is classic, and then zombies? You can't argue that zombies have taken the literary world by storm. Add some violence with the semi smashing, toss that all together with an Iraq reference, which is topical, and you've got the greatest story ever written. Do you NEED to know how the girl eventually got NOS on her turtle? No. No you don't. All you need to know is that the turtle was looking for victory number two when it came to rabbit/turtle racing, and he was prepared to do anything to get it.

I'm not going to lie, folks. That bit at the end, the twist there? I got the goosebumps. The turtles win again. When will those rabbits learn?

1 comment:

  1. Silly rabbit. Should have bogarted a bowl of Trix. That'll show the fucking turtle.


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